| In a Limbo |
[Jul. 7th, 2006|11:02 pm] |
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I am currently in a limbo of unemployment, and it is surely not fun at all. Though I have a lot of time in my hands now, the fact that I am greatly stressed out of my current situation, I have no inspiration of writing. I want to write again. Especially with my new found obsession of Eureka 7; what an entertaining anime. But I am still knee-deep on Gundam Seed especially on the Athrun/Cagalli pairing (even though Yzak/Cagalli...is beginning to take its hold on me)the fact that it is such an open-ended question on what the future is for this pairing makes it all the more interesting. Good thing I've always had a thing for AU pairings, so even if they no longer are canon, it doesn't really matter to me. And it really shouldn't matter to loyal AC fans, because the fact is: they have a history still--and most of you know what I mean. First loves or past loves never fade that easily, they remain embedded underneath our skin--taking hold of us when least expected. |
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| Justice |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|10:06 pm] |
He knew the exact moment that Lachesis the alotter was finally nearing in her measurement of the ends of his thread. And he did not flinch. It was after he felt the cold, sharp tip of steel hovering gracefully at the swell of his neck, and he craned his neck to watch the intruder cast themselves from their shadowed niche.
It was that moment that a gasp tumbled from his gaping lips.
The irony of everything didn't escape him.
Tresses of golden spool swayed against the figure's shoulders. But the eyes, they were of molten lava, yet the way they held him--it was cool like a winter morning breeze. His messenger of death was an angelic ghost, a ghost that has long eluded him--the one who wanted nothing to do with him, but continued to haunt him in the crevices of his withering mind.
But the deep timbre of the angel's voice was what caused him to tremble not with fear, instead with unadulterated regret.
"Do you know what I am here for?" The query goes unanswered for a moment or two as he fought through the fragments of his already crumbling life.
"Yes," he answered quietly, straightening his frame so that he could see, see the face he had always longed to see; so much like her. "Yes," he repeated in a firmer voice, watching the younger man's impassive face; but yet quite different all at the same time. "Vengeance for the one we've lost."
The other's hand tightened around the sword's hilt, scraping against his neck and causing blood to trickle down his pristine white shirt. "No. It's for the one I've lost and the one you've killed."
His lips curled in a small unmalicious smile, he wanted to ask for atonement, but even he himself understood that he is undeserving of it. Instead, he settled for the middle. "Will you not ask why?"
"It will not change the past nor the present." The response came, accompanied by a quick and firm shake of the head. And in that moment of deciveness and slight impatience, he was again reminded of another, the one he wished to hold close. Rather than felt the rising nausea of his guilt, he tasted it climbing at the back of his throat.
"I loved her," he swallowed, confessing not despairingly but genuinely. Before him, the familiar stranger continued to gaze unperturbedly at him. It was empty of everything but that flare of hatred, that carved deeper in his heart.
"She knew that," the words came out with difficulty, "and as always she forgave you."
"But you didn't." He interjected.
"No."
He closed his eyes and sighed, Atropos' scissors was hovering around. "Yes, I am underserving of it," he acquiesed, finally opening his eyes. "Will you bury me beside her?"
There was only a moment of hesitation on the other, before receiving a small nod. He smiled then, tiredly and thankfully at the face of the one he wished he hadn't aggrieved nor failed. The sword quickly swung and pain traced all the nerves of his body.
His smile only widened when he heard the last words ever spoken to him.
"Goodbye Father." |
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| Denial |
[May. 8th, 2006|02:47 pm] |
The blood has began to course down her mouth, her weight increasingly sagging against his chest.
"You're such a fool," he whispers spitefully at her hair, but his arms betray him a little as they pull her closer to his embrace. He feels the stickiness of her blood soak through his uniform and his hands. To him it only seemed right, eyes straying at the guns by his side.
His and hers.
He turns his eyes back at her, wanting to know why. She smiles at him, that genuine smile of hers,that believes, though now he sees the strain at the corner of her mouth. It must be the pain.
"You've lost everything, and gained nothing," he brushes her hair, so that he could see her eyes. Her smile does not slip like he has expected it to, instead he thinks it has brightened even more.
"I have you," she says subtly and heavily, like chasing her own breath. Inside, his heart twists and feels his lungs drowning without air. His lips set in a thin line, readying to object, but her hand reaches out and stills him. "You hesitated."
He shakes his head. "That means nothing."
Her weakening limb rests against his chest, where his heart should have been. And she stares deeply at his eyes before she surrenders to her pain.
"And yet you hold me close."
He says nothing and never lets her go. |
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| Blurb |
[May. 8th, 2006|02:46 pm] |
sssssooooooo.....i barely turned 21 and i already feel like i'm having a mid-life crisis...graduating from college does that i guess.....i will be one of those unemployed brats that have to live back with their parents....ARGH!...I am so not looking forward to it...and add to that I have been watching this evangelion-like anime Rahxophen....i think its cool....I also wrote a Yzak x Cagalli pairing of the Gundam Seed fandom...talk about "what shit have you been smoking?!"....but hey...i like challenges...and i always have had a thing for AU pairings (though it seems AsuCaga is slowly becoming just that)...and though I didn't get alot of feedback when I posted it in fanfiction.net....i am still proud of my work...because I believe that in the very least...they are in character....and now...i think i like the pairing....haha....also also i want to work soon on a Mugen x Fuu fic of Samurai Champloo...but i feel so guilty because i haven't even finished my chapter fics...especially Adieu....argh.... |
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| ARGH! |
[Mar. 21st, 2006|10:25 pm] |
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i'm cursed to never ever complete/accomplish anything! Why do all the shitty things happen to me!!!!! |
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| Unrequited |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|09:29 pm] |
His back was turned to me, but I know that he is thinking of her.
I quiet the fluttering pieces of my heart, and run my hands through my skirt,
slowlyl smoothing it out. I watch in silent fascination as dark spots appeared
on the white silk cloth, and realize a little too late that they are nothing more
but droplets of my tears.
"I love you." A voice softly whispers out, so unlike mine, that I find myself startled
at my own resignation.
I don't have to lift my head to know that he has not even spared me a glance, and I let
my shoulders slouch deeper.
His voice was sad and unpromising; and it ran between our distance in a cold chill.
"I know." |
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| drabble |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|09:08 pm] |
...I understand that there are things I cannot change...
But I sit here, watching the sun drown in darkness, and I'm still waiting for you.
I think that if I close my eyes, I will miss you pass me by--just as I had let you
not long ago. From a far, I hear someone call my name, and I wanted it to be you.
You asked me once: how could one live in regret? I never gave you an answer,
because you're not living if you're wallowing in regret. And I'm...I'm just
dreaming without you at my side....And I'm...I'm doing just fine.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2006|05:44 pm] |
midterms tomorrow...even though i reallly want to write drabbles i have to study it sux! *sighs*
hope i pass.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|08:54 pm] |
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correct that....now the avatar i have is found in magitek-designs.net and is created by Aquarian Age....one day i'm going to make my own |
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| Newbie |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|08:16 pm] |
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Just recently decided to create my own livejournal...just because....and so that i can have a place to complain about many many things...i'm trying to get the hang of this...i don't fully understand the mechanics in this site...but i should get the hang of it...i should really start doing my studying tho....*sighs*...can never escape the real world...btw...the avatar i'm currently using is from the seedgenesis.net....i give credit to its creator...thank you for letting me borrow... |
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